Love...

I'm sitting here at my computer contemplating what love really is. I know that there are various types of loves...brotherly love, love between friends and family, love for your dog, love for God and loving your spouse. What I'm talking about is the kind of love you feel for someone with a passion, the kind of love that hurts. Recently, I've experienced this sort of love and I don't know I live being in this state of mind. First of all, it doesn't make any sense and all logic and reason just go out the window. I feel totally out of control and not at all happy about it.

I think I'm in love and it's not good. As far as I can see, there's really no future in this relationship. First of all, I already have a partner who I consider to be my life partner. However I seem to be in love with this other guy who I've been seeing for over a month now. He wants me to break up with my lover and says he's willing to wait for me to make up my mind. He's absolutely sweet and adorable and pushes all the right buttons.

So can one be in love with two persons at the same time? The way I'm feeling right now, the answer would be a definite yes. Is it a good feeling? Not really. I feel guilty as hell and sort of feel like shit. I really got to get my shit together don't you think? What the fuck is wrong with me?

Shinichi