My destiny?

The new year has arrived and I'm going to be 41 in a matter of weeks. It feels as though I just turned 40, but at the same time, the year felt longer than usual. I know it sounds weird and crazy but the year 2006 felt longer than previous years. It feels shorter because 40 was such a milestone for me. So now going on to 41, I look back at what my life has been. 40 years seem like such a long time...am I really that ancient? Has it really been 40 years already? If it really has been 40 years, I should be wiser and mature in my ways don't you think? Well, I realize that things do change and I have changed in many ways, but many things remain the same.

I started a new career, juggled with more than a couple of businesses and at the same time, found myself in a situation I couldn't refuse. In fact, I'm reminded of when I just arrived here in Japan almost 20 years ago. I was scared yet excited of the fact that my future lay in front of me. I find myself in the same situation at this time in life. Who would have thought I would be scared and excited about my future at the age of 40? Not me, that's for sure.

It dawned on me one day sometime in December of last year that I have the same hopes and dreams as I did 20 years ago. The same fears that come with hoping for a better future and reaching for your dreams...to believe in yourself and what you can accomplish...to do what you have to do in order to stay alive and to survive. Nothing has really changed. I still don't know what's in store for my future. Are all my dreams and hopes part of my destiny?