Real-time post again...

Bells Palsy still remain.
Very uncomfortable and my face feels tight with a strange sound in my ear at all times.
My panic attacks are worse.
I'm getting scared to ride the train.
I am feeling more nerves in my face and it feels as though they are coming back alive.
I'm trying to stay positive and upbeat about alll of this shit.
I sometimes feel it's easier to just die in my sleep than to keep living.
I know that's just idiotic nonsence and I'm just venting.
I feel lost.
I hope I get tickets to go to LA this year.
I need to clean my apartment.
I need to stop watching so many DVDs.
I have a new and expensive bag, but have nowhere to go because of my Bells Palsy-affected face.
In spite of all this, I am happy.