1971-1975

My mother and I arrived in Honolulu, Hawaii sometime around 1971 I was told. We left my sister behind as we couldn't afford the plane ticket for her. My father's younger brother Uncle Nobu supposedly gave my mother enough money for two one-way tickets for my mother and me. So we left Japan leaving my sister behind. I don't really remember much about this time of my life. What I do remember is this. My grandmother and Mr N was already living in Hawaii by the time we got there. I later found out that due to my parent's divorce, my grandmother wanted custody of me. I used to run away from my mother's place and I always found my way to my grandma's apartment. I must have given my mother a lot of grief back then. Little did she know , that was just the beginning.

The first day of school was weird. The teacher was trying to tell me something but because I couldn't understand a single word she was saying, she yelled at me and pushed me away.
The first person who befriended me was a girl in my class, Elise Nakama. She was a very strange girl as she was always insisting that I speak Japanese and as a reward she would do the splits for me in front of the entire class. She made my first weeks in school extremely confusing.

I went to a private school until the 5th grade. My sister also joined us in Hawaii during this time. I fairly enjoyed those days as most of the kids were well mannered except for a few like David. I hear that he is trouble and has been in jail a couple of times. He was kind of cute though...in a David Cassidy kind of way. I was never to participate in sports as I had a very weak heart. That's what my mother tells me. I also remember I started to get gray hair when I was only in the 3rd grade. It was due to the medication I had to take for years since birth. I remember the doctor telling my mother and grandmother that I wouldn' t live past the age of 7, and only if I kept taking the medication. Finally my body just couldn't take any more medicine and I would throw up the pills. My grandmother got ged up with the whole situation and told me I no longer needed to take them as they were doing me no good.

My family are buddhists so they prayed really hard to Buddha to allow me to live as long as possible. The prayers must have worked or the doctor was a quack as I ended up living past that age. Every since, I make it a point to consult with a number of doctors when I'm diagnosed with something serious.

My favorite subjects were art and music...I hated science and geography with a passion. Oh, history was so useless to me I didn't even try. But the worse was Physical Education class because I was never allowed to participate due to my weak heart. I felt out of place and very unhappy. I felt as though nobody liked me and I started to feel all alone.

My mother ended up remarrying when I was around 6. His name was Mr K and he was this asshole of a man. Why do I say that about him? For one thing, he used to hit my mother, throw her to the ground and pin her in between the bed and wall until she couldn't breathe. This went on at least twice a week...maybe more...but my sister and I used to cry until the neighbors came over to tell us to shut the fuck up. But the abuse got worse and I felt like a helpless shit.

At the same time, my mother used to hit me across the face for no apparent reason and I still feel the pain of the incense being stuck into the back of my palm. I remember trying to find ways of hurting my sister. I don't know why I did that, but I hate myself for doing that to her. Until this day, I cannot forgive myself for treating my sister with this abusive behavior. Hate it. So, my mother's new husband hit my mother, my mother hit me, and I hit my sister.

One night when my mother was pinned against the wall, and she looked like she was about to lose consciousness, I screamed at the top of my lungs. The next thing I know he grabbed me by the throat and started to choke me. The last thing I remember was the fact that I was happy to see the abuse on my mother stop. She was breathing again. The next thing I remember, I was on the floor with my mother and sister looking over me. Mr K was nowhere to be found.

The next day, one of my uncles came over to kick Mr K out of my mother's life once and for all. Strangely though, he was very nice to me that day. We had a final meal together and I felt kind of sad for him. He never came back after that and my mother was once again, free from an abusive relationship.

During this period my father came to visit us in Hawaii a couple of times. He seemed loving and caring. Little did we know was the fact that the only reason why he came was to borrow some money from my mother. How much of an asshole can this guy be? How much more lies and abuse can two kids take? Little did we know, more was to come.